I haven't written a blog entry for over a month. I have a lot of scattered thoughts that make writing a coherent piece more difficult than usual. The pandemic is growing and the earlier anxiety I felt in the Spring is surfacing again. Additionally, I feel sometimes like I have to defend my own desire to be safe. It's a weird metaphysical place to be and it is not comfortable.
We are all facing our own abstractions right now. We want to keep our family and friends safe but we want to celebrate traditions that also keep us spiritually healthy. We want to be connected to people we care about but we want to keep distanced to ensure we don't make them sick. There is now hope in a vaccine but dire warnings of surges in January. We go up and down in our emotions.
I write for a living. It's always been somewhat easy for me to write because I love expressing thoughts through written word. I am a better writer than a speaker because I can linger over a word, change it, keep it. Writing gives me energy and revitalizes my mind, at least it did. Now I struggle for expression. I have been told this is not an uncommon phenomenon for writers in the pandemic. It's curious, I think. At a time when I need to be communicating more clearly than ever, I am at a loss for words.
Metaphysics examines the 'fundamental nature of reality' according to wordsmiths. Right now, reality and abstraction are blurred for many of us. I think that may be a reason that words are hard to find. My hope is that not long from now, we will all find our words again.
Maybe they won't define the true reality of these times but I hope they will be an avenue for sharing what we have felt. I hope they will help us connect again.