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Waiting

Like many of you, I am waiting right now. Waiting for my granddaughters to arrive from Texas with their mom and dad. Waiting for my family to be together to share a holiday meal. Waiting to share gifts with people I love. Waiting in anticipation of what I know will be a time that fills me with tenderness for the people around me.


I'm also waiting for other things, with less anticipation and even trepidation. I'm waiting to see if CoVid continues to ravage the world in its latest variant form. I'm waiting for Congress to act on important funding bills. I'm waiting to see what the Supreme Court does with Roe v. Wade. And on and on.


Do we travel out of the country this winter? Do we hunker down again? Will the booster do its job? There is so much uncertainty around us, as there always has been. I try to balance my feelings around the events I am looking forward to, that I know will give me joy, with the events that bring me anxiety and even dread. Sometimes I manage the balance well, tending toward optimism in humanity and in the future. Other times, I am lost to the dread.


I love this time of the year because I think people are nicer, there is more expressed hopefulness. But I have also known the loneliness of a holiday season with its bittersweet memories. Both of these two sides are part of my experience, my yin and yang.


I wrote recently about opposing feelings that often rage within me, perhaps in you as well. I am hoping today that I can look for more peace than discord, more positive intention than negative aim. I am not sugar-coating the destructiveness of illness, injustice or inequity, but I am trying to find a symmetry in the world. With that, I think, I can live at peace. I hope that for all of you.


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